5 Important Lessons‏

LESSON 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to ameeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you arethree, I will allow one wish each"So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to bein the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he wasgone.Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be InFlorida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and he was also gone.The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office afterlunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

LESSON 2

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?""Certainly," said the young executive.He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside theshredder machine. "I just need one copy."

LESSON II: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"

LESSON 3

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what youmean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the Japanese was confused over he question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? "he Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind Of'key' was he.The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'amI?!"The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"

LESSON 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, whofound this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genieappeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, Hesaid, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you Awish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want thepool of water to become, then your wish will come true."The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted,"WINE".The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was sohappy swimming and drinking from the pool.Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" andimmersed himself into a pool of vodka.The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contentedwith his beer pool.The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly Hesteps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,"SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "

LESSON IV: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMESACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"

LESSON 5

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was Incharge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where itWants to go. Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going. Asshole..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed andStayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any wastewhatsoever. Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief Day 2 -Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly Day 3 - Legs got cramps andbecame unstable Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred Day 5Blood became toxic and poisoned the body Day 6 -The other organs agreedto let the asshole be in charge.

MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE"