Road Sign with Story

Understanding Women Bra Sizes

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase?

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih


The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear Marian

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly, Manager

Ah Beng's Night Course

Ah Beng went to take night courses with the reasoning in futurecan get promotion or better job. During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about hisknowledge.

Ah Beng : Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.
Ah Seng : Oh... Good luck ah.

Then Ah Beng started show off...
Ah Beng : Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
Ah Seng : Don't knowAh Beng : He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng : ........................ *speechless*

The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...
Ah Beng : Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
Ah Seng : Wash your toilet one ah?
Ah Beng : No! He's the author of "Confessions", nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng : ......................... *speechless + frustrated*

The next day, once again...
Ah Beng : Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
Ah Seng : Your gay partner?
Ah Beng : Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng : ....................... *speechless + frustrated + irritated

This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask AhBeng...
Ah Seng : Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?
Ah Beng : Errrr... No!
Ah Seng : He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stopnight courses, you would know this!!Ah Beng : ........................ *fainted*

原来国家的名字能如此浪漫

h.o.l.l.a.n.d 荷兰
hope our love lasts and never dies.
希望我们的爱永恒不变

i.t.a.l.y 意大利
i trust and love you
我相信你和爱你

l.i.b.y.a 利比亚
love is beautiful ; you also
爱是美丽的 ； 你也是

f.r.a.n.c.e 法兰西
friendships remain and never can end
友谊永固

c.h.i.n.a 中国
come here , i need affection.
来这，我需要爱

b.u.r.m.a 缅甸
between us , remember me always
我们之间 ， 常常记得我

n.e.p.a.l 尼泊尔
never ever part as lovers
像情人一样永不分开

i.n.d.i.a 印度
i nearly died in adoration
我差点在狂爱中死去

k.e.n.y.a 肯雅
keep everything nice , yet arousing
全部东西保养好来， 保持趣味

c.a.n.a.d.a 加拿大
cute and naughty action that developed into attraction
可爱和顽皮的动作建造成吸引力

k.o.r.e.a 韩国
keep optimistic regardless if every adversity
虽然事与愿为 ， 保持乐观

e.g.y.p.t 埃及
everything's great , you pretty thing !!
十全十美 ， 你这漂亮的东西！！

m.a.n.i.l.a 马尼拉
may all nights inspire love always
漫漫长夜时时刻刻感到爱

M.A.L.A.Y.S.I.A 马来西亚
man and lady are you still in available

T.A.I.W.A.N 台湾
Tamade !! A-bien is winning AGAIN !!!他妈的！！ 阿扁又赢了！！！

Countries Name's meaning

h.o.l.l.a.n.d - hope our love lasts and never dies.

i.t.a.l.y - i trust and love you

l.i.b.y.a - love is beautiful ; you also

f.r.a.n.c.e - friendships remain and never can end

c.h.i.n.a - come here , i need affection.

b.u.r.m.a - between us , remember me always

n.e.p.a.l -bnever ever part as lovers

i.n.d.i.a i - nearly died in adoration

k.e.n.y.a - keep everything nice , yet arousing

c.a.n.a.d.a - cute and naughty action that developed into attraction

k.o.r.e.a - keep optimistic regardless if every adversity

e.g.y.p.t - everything's great , you pretty thing !!

m.a.n.i.l.a - may all nights inspire love always

M.A.L.A.Y.S.I.A - man and lady are you still in available

T.A.I.W.A.N - Tamade !! A-bien is winning AGAIN !!!

New techniques in Spreading HIV

Dear All,

A few weeks ago, in a cinema, a person felt something poking from her seat.When she got up to see what it was,she found a needle sticking out of the seat with a note attached saying "You have just been infected by HIV (AIDS)".The Disease Control Center (in Paris )reports many similar events in many other cities recently. All tested needles were HIV Positive. The Center also reports that needles have been found in cash dispensers (ATM) at public banking machines. We ask everyone to use extreme caution when faced with this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be inspected with vigilance and caution before use. A careful visual inspection should be enough. In addition, they ask that each of you pass this message along to all members of your family and your friends of the potential danger.Recently, one doctor has narrated asome what similar instance that happened to one of his patients at the Praia Cinema in Delhi . A young girl engaged and about to be married in couple of months, was pricked while the movie was going on. The tag with the needle had the message : "Welcome to the World of HIV family". Though the doctors told her family that it takes about 6 months before the virus grows strong enough to start damaging the system and a healthy victim could survive about 5-6 years, the girl died in 4 months, perhaps more because of the "Shock thought". We all have to becareful at public places, rest God help! Just think about saving a life by forwarding this message. Please,take a few seconds of your time to pass along.

If a gal cries 4 u

If a girl cries in front ofyou, itmeans that she couldn't take itanymore...
If you take her hand, she would staywith you for the rest of your life; ifyou let her go, she couldn't go backto being herself anymore...
A girl wont cry easily, Except infront of the person who she love themost, she becomes weak..
A girl wont cry easily, only when sheloves you the most, she put down herego.
G uys, if a girl cries bcoz of youplease hold her hands firmly, she'sthe one who would stay with you forthe rest of your life.
Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you,please dont give her up, maybe bcoz ofyour decision, you ruin her life.
When she cry rite in front of you,when she cry bcoz of you, Look intoher eyes, Can u see n feel the pain nhurt she's feeling?
Thin k....
Which other girl have cried wif puresincerity, Infront of you, And bcoz ofyou?
Sh e cry not because she is weak, Shecry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity,She cry, Because crying silently is nolonger possible, the pain, hurt, nagony have become too big a burden tobe kept inside...
Guy s, Think about it...
If a girl cry her heart out 2 you, Andall because of you, Its time to lookback on wat u have done, Only you willknow the answer to it.
Do consider it. Coz one day....
It may be too late for regrets,It may be too late to say "im sorry".
To my friends...
Po nder this message seriously.
Do nt do dis to a girl,You may regret for the rest of yourlife. Maybe in your life, she's theonly one that love YOU the most.
Girls.. If u eva cry 4 a guy u love alot.. repost this in 10 minutes & usetis title... 'If a gal cries 4 u'..sum1 special will cal u in an hour'stime..
Guys.. If u hav a gal who cry 4 u..think wat u should do straight away

"陰莖"提出加薪

陰莖，提出加薪的要求有以下的主要原因 ：

1.我參加體力勞動

2.我在女性的最深處工作

3. 任何工作我都必需先把我的 腦袋伸進去

4.我在周末和 國定假期裡沒有放假

5.我 是在潮濕的環境下工作

6. 沒有人付我的加班費，如果我超時工作的話<>7.我的工作環境漆黑一片， 而且通風設備很差

8.我在 高溫下工作

9.我隨時有被 病毒感染的可能

對要求加薪 的陰莖(回復)親愛的陰莖，經過公 司董事會議，您的請求被駁回，原因 如下：

1.您的連續工作時 間未能超過八小時

2.工作 期間您經常打瞌睡

3.您並 不總是依照主人的命令執行任務4 .您並不總是在您規定的地方工作，常常跑到 其它地方去溜達

5 .您的工作態度不好，自覺性差，需要被人刺 激才肯工作

6.您 工作過後總是把您工作過的地方弄得一團糟

7.您並不總是遵守安全制度 ，比方說穿戴安全服裝

8. 65歲不到，您就已經進入退休年齡了

9.您無法連續勝任兩個任務

10.您有時在未能完成任務前 就已經逃離工作地點

11. 最後我們想說的是，你每次進出工作地點時， 總是帶著兩個可疑的大袋子

45 things a girl wants but wont ask for

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.
Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.*
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hang out with her and your friendstogether. *
KEEP READING
1 1. Smile with her.*
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more,deny it. Fight back.*
15. When her friends say i love hermore than you, deny it. fight back andhug her tight so she can't get to herfriends. it makes her feel loved.*
Ar e you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love youwhenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.*
18 . Hug her from behind around thewaist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel abouther.
One last thing you need to do to showher you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to hercar- it makes her feel protected, plusit never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything -only if you mean it.*
23. If it seems like there is somethingwrong, ask her- if she denies somethingbeing wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANTTO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her*
24. Make her feel loved.
25-kiss her in front of other girls youknow!
WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKEAND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US
26-DON'T lie to her.*
27-DON'T cheat on her.*
28-take her ANYWHERE she wants
29-txt messege or call her in themorning and tell her have a good day atwork {or school}, and how much youmiss her.
30-be there for her when ever she needsyou, & even when she doesn't need you,just be there so she'll know that shecan ALWAYS count on you.*
ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTERBECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT
31. Hold her close when she's cold soshe can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her closeand kiss her.*
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it willgive her the hint that you want to kissher).
34 . While in the movies, put your armaround her and then she willautomaticall y put her head on yourshoulder, then lean in and tilt herchin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave evenjokingly or act like you're mad. Ifshes upset, comfort her.*
REM E MBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOUAREWITH HER NEXT
36. When people tease her, stand up forher.*
37. Look deep into her EYES and tellheryou love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and putherhead on your chest so she can listen tothe steady beat of your heart, Linkyour fingers together while youwhisper to her as she rests her eyesand listens to you .
39. When walking next to each othergrab her hand.*
40. When you hug her HOLD her in yourarms as long as possible*
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED
41. Call or text her at night to wishher SWEET DREAMS*
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipeaway her tears.*
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you loveher.
45. sit on top of her and tell her howmuch u love her and then bend down toher face and kiss her while sitting onher.
yo u'll never know when she needsjust alil more love
find this sweet? (:
Guys Repost: "I would do this for her"Girls Repost: "
45 things a girl wants
but wont ask for"

女性朋友必看

強暴犯尋找目標 " 容易 " ，不會惹麻煩的女人。 這是一篇訪問「強暴犯」的報告.如 果妳沒 看過，請仔細看完；如果妳曾經看過 ，建議妳再看一遍。
許多 強暴犯認為，具有「被害者 」的第一個特質，是她們的 髮型。他們最喜歡跟在[綁馬尾], 有髮髻或綁辮子的女性身後，或是其 他可以輕易抓住她的髮型。
他們也喜歡跟住長髮女性， 短髮的女性不常會是目標。
　
強暴犯考慮的第 二件事是 「衣著」，他們會找尋穿著「可迅速 脫去」的女性。他們認為， 最好的穿著是一件式的罩衫（例如： 洋裝、連身裙）。因為許多 強暴犯會隨身攜帶剪刀，來剪開衣。
　
他們亦會跟上正 在說大哥大，正在找錢包；或在走路 時，作其他事的女性。因為她們會毫 無防備，而且可以輕易的被控制住。
正天的時間中，他們喜歡在 一大早攻擊和強暴女性（她們此時清 爽、乾淨）。
　易 發生攻擊的地點是商站 前的停車場.第二名是公司的停車場 或車庫，第三名是公共廁所,這些強 暴犯所想的,就是抓住女性後,他們 可以迅速移往第二個 地點，使他們不必擔心被抓 到。只有 2 ％的人，會帶武器（因為被抓到判刑 的話、罪較輕）。如果，妳 在當下有激烈反抗，他們通常會退縮。
因為，只要花了一兩分鐘，他們就 會知道，上妳是不值得的， 也會浪費過多的時間。
強暴犯說，他們不會選上 帶著「雨傘或 其他類似物品的女性」，因 為這可以 用來造成防禦的距離所以，
要使強暴犯產生「妳並不是 適合被攻擊的對象」的念頭 。
　
妳們 必須學習下列幾種防衛的方式：如果 有人在街上或停車場中跟著妳，或是 在電梯或手扶梯上，直視他們的臉， 而且問他們問題：
**例如：現在幾點了？或是進行禮貌性的交 談。
**例如：我簡直不敢 相信，這裡會這麼冷?今天天氣真差 ！
因為，現在妳已經看到他 們的臉，而且可以在鏡子後面指認他 們，妳也因此失去成為他們目標的機 會。
如果有人正靠近妳，將 妳的手伸至胸前，並大喊站住或退後 。
如果女性大喊或表現不怕 反擊回去的態度，他們就會離開.再次提醒，他們 尋找的是「容 易」的目標，他們要的是一個不會惹 麻煩的女人。
如果開始惹了 麻煩,那麼他將會逃離現場。
　
如果妳的好朋友 ，沒看過這篇文章，請妳幫幫忙！把 這篇分享給她們，這可能是拯救她生命的簡單知識.

如何保持年輕

1. 拋開所有的不重要的數字，包括年齡，體重，身高。
2. 與快樂的人為友，心懷不滿的人會讓你消沉
3. 堅持不懈地學習
4. 從小事中找到樂趣
5. 開懷大笑，笑到不能自已
6. 想哭就哭
7. 讓你愛的人和事環繞著你
8. 珍愛你的健康
9. 不要踏上罪惡之路
10. 告訴你愛的人"我愛你 "，珍惜每一個機會

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.This includes age, weight, and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends.The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.Never let the brain get idle."An idle mind is the devil's workshop."And the devil's name is Alzheimers!

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who mak es you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!

6. The tears happen:Endure, grieve, and move on.The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself.LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it.If it is unstable, improve it.If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is

10. Tell the people you love ,that you love them, at every opportunity. And if you don't send this to at least four people - who cares? But do share this with yourself

What women want in a man

What women want in a man at age 22:

1. Handsome

2. Charming

3. Financially successful

4. A caring listener

5. Witty

6. In good shape

7. Dresses with style

8. Appreciates finer things

9. Full of thoughtful surprises

10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What women want in a man at age 32:

1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)

2. Opens car doors, holds chairs

3. Has enough money for a nice dinner

4. Listens more than talks

5. Laughs at my jokes

6. Carries bags of groceries with ease

7. Owns at least one tie

8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal

9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man at age 42:

1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)

2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car

3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally

4. Nods head when I'm talking

5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes

6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach

8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids

9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down

10. Shaves most weekends

What women want in a man at age 52:

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed

2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public

3. Doesn't borrow money too often

4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting

5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times

6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends

7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear

8. Appreciates a good TV dinner

9. Remembers your name on occasion

10. Shaves some weekends

What women want in a man at age 62:

1. Doesn't scare small children

2. Remembers where bathroom is

3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep

4. Only snores lightly when asleep

5. Remembers why he's laughing

6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself

7. Usually wears some clothes

8. Likes soft foods

9. Remembers where he left his teeth

10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What women want in a man at age 72:

1. Breathing

2. Doesn't miss the toilet

New rules for dieting

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out.

3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used forenergy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel. This includes (but is not limited to) Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.

6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.

7. If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.

8. If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.

9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has 0 calories, courtesy of Santa.

10. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

穿內褲的意義

有一天小英的媽媽幫小英洗澡，洗完再幫她穿衣服時，

小英就不耐煩的問他媽媽，

小英：媽媽褲子穿一件就好幹麻裡面還要穿一件內褲？
男生和我一樣都要穿內褲嗎？

媽媽：要啊！男生穿內褲是怕小鳥會飛出去所以要穿啊！

小英：......可是媽媽我又沒小鳥.那我幹麻穿？

媽媽：要穿啊!笨女兒你不穿是怕有小鳥會飛進去....

你肩膀上有蜻蜓吗？

在一个非常宁静而美丽的小城，有一对非常恩爱的恋人，他们每天都去海边看日出，晚上去海边送夕阳，每个见过他们的人都向他们投来羡慕的目光。

可是有一天，在一场车祸中，女孩不幸受了重伤，她静静地躺在医院的病床上，几天几夜都没有醒过来。白天，男孩就守在床前不停地呼唤毫无知觉的恋人；晚上，他就跑到小城的教堂里向上帝祷告，他已经哭干了眼泪。

一个月过去了，女孩仍然昏睡着，而男孩早已憔悴不堪了，但他仍苦苦地支撑着。终于有一天，上帝被这个痴情的男孩感动了。于是他决定给这个执着的男孩一个例外。上帝问他：“你愿意用自己的生命作为交换吗？”男孩毫不犹豫地回答：“我愿意！”上帝说：“那好吧，我可以让你的恋人很快醒过来，但你要答应化作三年的蜻蜓，你愿意吗？”男孩听了，还是坚定地回答道：“我愿意！”

天亮了，男孩已经变成了一只漂亮的蜻蜓，他告别了上帝便匆匆地飞到了医院。女孩真的醒了，而且她还在跟身旁的一位医生交谈着什么，可惜他听不到。

几天后，女孩便康复出院了，但是她并不快乐。她四处打听着男孩的下落，但没有人知道男孩究竟去了哪里。女孩整天不停地寻找着，然而早已化身成蜻蜓的男孩却无时无刻不围绕在她身边，只是他不会呼喊，不会拥抱，他只能默默地承受着她的视而不见。夏天过去了，秋天的凉风吹落了树叶，蜻蜓不得不离开这里。于是他最后一次飞落在女孩的肩上。他想用自己的翅膀抚摸她的脸，用细小的嘴来亲吻她的额头，然而他弱小的身体还是不足以被她发现。

转眼间，春天来了，蜻蜓迫不及待地飞回来寻找自己的恋人。然而，她那熟悉的身影旁站着一个高大而英俊的男人，那一刹那，蜻蜓几乎快从半空中坠落下来。人们讲起车祸后女孩病得多么的严重，描述着那名男医生有多么的善良、可爱，还描述着他们的爱情有多么的理所当然，当然也描述了女孩已经快乐如从前。

蜻蜓伤心极了，在接下来的几天中，他常常会看到那个男人带着自己的恋人在海边看日出，晚上又在海边看日落，而他自己除了偶尔能停落在她的肩上以外，什么也做不了。

这一年的夏天特别长，蜻蜓每天痛苦地低飞着，他已经没有勇气接近自己昔日的恋人。她和那男人之间的喃喃细语，他和她快乐的笑声，都令他窒息。

第三年的夏天，蜻蜓已不再常常去看望自己的恋人了。她的肩被男医生轻拥着，脸被男医生轻轻地吻着，根本没有时间去留意一只伤心的蜻蜓，更没有心情去怀念过去。

上帝约定的三年期限很快就要到了。就在最后一天，蜻蜓昔日的恋人跟那个男医生举行了婚礼。

蜻蜓悄悄地飞进教堂，落在上帝的肩膀上，他听到下面的恋人对上帝发誓说：我愿意！他看着那个男医生把戒指戴到昔日恋人的手上，然后看着他们甜蜜地亲吻着。蜻蜓流下了伤心的泪水。

上帝叹息着：“你后悔了吗？”蜻蜓擦干了眼泪：“没有！”上帝又带着一丝愉悦说：“那么，明天你就可以变回你自己了。”蜻蜓摇了摇头：“就让我做一辈子蜻蜓吧……”

有些缘分是注定要失去的，有些缘分是永远不会有好结果的。爱一个人不一定要拥有，但拥有一个人就一定要好好去爱他。你的肩上有蜻蜓吗？

在你心中有这样的一个人吗？

你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。

也许为了出国深造，他没有要你等他。
也许你们相遇太早，还不懂得珍惜对方。
也许你们相遇太晚，你们身边已经有了另一个人。
也许你回头太迟，对方已不再等待。
也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，而迟迟无法跨出界线。

不过即使你们没在一起，你们还是保持了朋友的关系。但是你们心底清楚，对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。他有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。

他遇到困难时，你会尽你所能的帮他，不会计较谁又欠了谁。男女朋友吃醋了，你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友，但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。每个人这辈子，心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，很矛盾的行为。一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，但久了，突然发现这样最好。
你宁愿这样关心他， 总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。
你宁愿做他的朋友，彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。
特别是这样，你还是知道，他永远会关心你的。做不成男女朋友，当他那个特别的朋友，有什么不好呢？你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？

很多的感情，都因为一厢情愿，最后连朋友都当不成了，常常觉得惋惜，可惜一些本来很好的友情，最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。

因为这就像是一场赌注，表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，要不就连朋友都当不成了。有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的好。也是可惜，也是遗憾！但还有没有可能是另一种情况，你可能永远都不甘心只是朋友. . . . . （完）

女性安全 -- 美国警方的提醒

1. 警方的提醒：手肘是身体最 有力的部位。距离够近，就善用手肘！

2. 假如歹徒向你要皮夹或钱包，不要递给他，而是将皮夹或钱包往远处丢去。歹徒很可能对财物比对你有兴趣，他会去拿皮夹或钱包，这是你逃跑的机会。往反方向拼命跑！！

3. 假如你被丢进车子的后车厢: 把车后灯踢破，将你的手从洞中伸出去，用力挥手，驾驶 人看不到你，但是其他人看得到。这个方法救过无数人命。

4. 女性常常在购物、吃饭及下班后进入车子，然后就坐在驾驶座上处理事情（如记帐、列清单等）。千万不要这么做！歹徒会藉机观察情势，闯入车内，拿枪威胁，控制你的行动。

进入车内，立即锁门，驶离 现场。

5. 在平面停车场及立体停车场的几个注意事项 ：

a. 要警觉：环顾四周；察看车 内的乘客座和后座。（接近车子时，留意车底。）
b. 假如你的车子停在箱型车 旁，则应该从乘客车门进入你的车子。许多连续杀人犯都是趁着女性要进入车中时， 将她们拖进箱型车中加害。
c. 观察停放在你左右两边的车 子。如果有男性单独坐在最近的邻车内，最好回到购物中心或办公室，找保全人员或警察陪你回去。宁愿防患未然，也不要终生遗憾。 ( 大惊小怪总比丧命好。 )

6. 永远搭电梯，不要走楼梯。 （楼梯间是一个可怕的地方，容易让人形单影只，变成 最好的犯罪场所。 )

7. 假如歹徒有枪而你并没有受 到他的控制，一定要跑！一百次中，只有四次歹徒会袭击逃跑的目标；即使他攻击你，大多不会是致命的部位，要跑！

8. 身为女性，我们总是发挥同情心：不要再这样！这样会增加被强暴或是杀害的机会。一个叫泰得 ．邦迪（ Ted Bundy ）的连续杀人犯就是一个相貌堂堂并且受过良好教育的人 ，总是利用女性的同情心。他走路时带着一根手杖或是跛行，经常要求别人 " 帮忙 " 他进 入车内或是看一下他的车子，趁机绑架受害者 。
最近有人告诉我，他的朋友在晚上听到门口有婴儿在哭，不过当时已经很晚了，而且她认为这件事很奇怪，于是她打电话给警察。警察告诉她： " 无论如何，绝对不要开门。 "

这位女士表示那声音听起来像是婴儿爬到窗户附近哭，她担心婴儿会爬到街上，被车子碾过。警察告诉她：我们已经派人前往，无论如何不能开门。警方认为这是一个连续杀人犯，利用婴儿哭声的录音带，诱使女性以为有人在外面遗弃婴儿，骗她们出门察看。虽然尚未证实此事，但是警方已经接到许多女性打电话来说，他们晚上独自在家时，听到门外有婴儿的哭声，请将这个消息传给其他人，不要因为听到婴儿的哭声而开门。

Tips from police - Important for women & ladies

1.Tip from police: The elbow is the strongest point on your body.If you are close enough to use it, do!

2.If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your Wallet and / or purse than you and he will go for the wallet or purse.RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3 .If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car:
Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4 .Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping,eating,working,etc., and just sit (doing their check book, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

5 .A Few Notes About Getting Into Your Car In a Parking Lot,or Parking
Garage:

A. Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger
side floor, and in the back seat. (And check out under the car as you
approach.)
B.If you're parked next to a big van you should enter your car from
the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle and the
passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car,you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6 .ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are
horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7 .If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,ALWAYS
RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ, RUN!

8 .As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women? He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked"for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do,DO NOT open the door."

He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby cry recorder and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they heard baby cries outside their doors ! when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on! and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.

伟大的爱情

一对情侣正以时速100行驶在摩托车上...

女：慢点，我害怕。

男：好吧...不过你先说你爱我...

女：我爱你...慢下来！

男：你再给我一个大拥抱。

女孩抱住他...

男：你可以将我的头盔摘下，然后戴在你头吗？它
让我觉得很烦

隔天报纸：一辆摩托车因刹车失灵撞进一栋大厦。两人中只有一位侥幸存活。

其实，男孩在行驶时已经发觉他的刹车失灵了，但是他不希望女孩担心。于是，他要求女孩说我爱你和给他最后的拥抱，还叫她戴着自己的头盔，尽管他知道这样他会死。

The correct way to eat instant noodles without harming our bodies - Important!

Normally, we cook the instant noodles by putting the noodles into a pot with water, throw in the powder and let it cook for 3 mins .This is the WRONG method of cooking the instant noodles.

By doing this, when we actually boil the ingredients in the powder, normally with MSG, it will change the molecular structures of the MSGcausing it to be toxic. The other thing that you may or may not realized isthat, the noodles are coated with wax and it will take around 4 to 5 days for the body to excrete the wax after you have taken the noodles.

So the CORRECT method, which you may or may not know, is to cook thenoodles this way ?

1. boil the noodles in a pot with water.

2. once the noodles is cooked, take out the noodles, and throw away the water which contains wax.

3. boil another pot of water till boiling and put the noodles into thehot boiling water and then shut the fire.

4. only at this stage when the fire is off, and while the water is very hot, put the ingredient with the powder into the water, to makenoodle soup.

5. however, if you need dry noodles, take out the noodles n add the ingredient with the powder and toss it to get dry noodles.

Hope this piece of information is of importance to your health in relationto eating instant noodles and please apply this cooking method with immediate effect.

5 Important Lessons‏

LESSON 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to ameeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you arethree, I will allow one wish each"So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to bein the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he wasgone.Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be InFlorida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and he was also gone.The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office afterlunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

LESSON 2

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?""Certainly," said the young executive.He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside theshredder machine. "I just need one copy."

LESSON II: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"

LESSON 3

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what youmean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the Japanese was confused over he question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? "he Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind Of'key' was he.The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'amI?!"The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"

LESSON 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, whofound this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genieappeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, Hesaid, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you Awish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want thepool of water to become, then your wish will come true."The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted,"WINE".The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was sohappy swimming and drinking from the pool.Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" andimmersed himself into a pool of vodka.The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contentedwith his beer pool.The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly Hesteps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,"SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "

LESSON IV: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMESACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"

LESSON 5

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was Incharge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where itWants to go. Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going. Asshole..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed andStayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any wastewhatsoever. Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief Day 2 -Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly Day 3 - Legs got cramps andbecame unstable Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred Day 5Blood became toxic and poisoned the body Day 6 -The other organs agreedto let the asshole be in charge.

MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE"

錯過一時，錯過一生

生活有時陰差陽錯，你錯過了一時，就似乎錯過了一生。
　　有個男孩，在學校的新生聯歡會上認識了一個女孩。女孩笑如春花，聰明活潑，男孩對她幾乎是一見鍾情，卻沒有表露。因爲男孩剛經過高中階段循規蹈矩式的教育，對男女感情小心翼翼得令人難以置信，他想：“再等等吧，等一切成熟些，再向她說。”
　　一年多後的一個夜晚，男孩終於鼓足勇氣約女孩出來，向她表達了心中的愛意？沒想到，平時伶俐的女孩結結巴巴地說：“我……我想我不能接受……你的好意，一個星期以前……我已經……接受了另一個……男孩……我真的……不知道你……會喜歡我……”女孩說完就跑掉了，沒有讓男孩看到她濕潤的眼。
　　後來，有人看到男孩同學校的“校花”經常出雙入對，大家都以爲他看中了“校花”的美貌，誰也沒有注意，“校花”有著和女孩一樣的春花般的笑容，非常相似，所以誰都沒有發現男孩的苦心。但是沒過多久，男孩與“校花”的愛情就以分手告吹。
　　大學生活很快就結束了。畢業後，女孩披上了嫁衣成了別人的新娘，而男孩再沒有戀愛過。因爲他清楚，只有這個女孩才是他今生唯一的至愛。
　　男孩從朋友那裏輾轉打聽到女孩的生日和地址，每到女孩生日時，他就會叫人送去九朵郁金香（他不知道女孩最喜歡什麽花，他自已最喜歡郁金香）。男孩知道女孩已爲人婦，所以他從來不在卡片裏留下姓名和聯繫號碼，他不想因爲自已的感情而影響女孩的生活。
　　幾年時間轉眼就過去了，男孩依然是形隻影單，依然記得每年都送花給女孩。就在女孩生日的前兩天，男孩參加了一個同學聚會，他聽說女孩在這幾年裏經歷了兩次離婚，如今也是獨身，心裏又是心疼又高興？他爲女孩遭遇了感情的不幸而心疼，又爲自已再次有了機會而高興……
　　終於等到了女孩的生日！男孩興奮得難以言狀！他想這次一定要親自把花送去，再向她表白。爲此，他幾乎逛遍了所有的花店，最後挑選了最美的花朵郁金香。
　　當小姐把花包紮好的刹那，男孩在卡片裏寫下幾個字：你知道我在愛你嗎？！男孩英俊的臉上灑滿了笑意與渴望，逕直向街心走去……
　　就在那時，一輛逆行貨車撞倒了他……
　　女孩在收到郁金香的同時也收到了男孩的死訊。
　　女孩明白了一切，她把自已鎖在了房間裏哭了整整一夜。她回想起多年前的那個夜晚，男孩對她的表白？她一直不知道　，這近10年來，男孩是如此執著而癡迷地愛著她！想到這裏，她就哭得更傷心，奔瀉的淚水將郁金香浸染得無限淒美。女孩知道，她失去了今生難遇難求的至愛。
　　然而，長眠的男孩肯定也不知道，女孩最喜歡的，正是郁金香啊……

This is a "BEST JOKE" award winner in UK

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here." The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg. In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

Singapore Airlines A380